'The first step is always the toughest, but it's the only way to the second step.' - Susan Gale.
I had never thought that putting my first step forward would be the most difficult thing I had ever experienced. I tried in vain to move the seemingly non-existential muscles in my leg just to be able to move a step and the effort was clearly apparent. I pushed with all my might against my mother's shoulder and my brother's arm, I finally managed to lift my leg. For a moment, I felt I was going to come out of my agony and all I prayed for was to be able to set my foot down - it was the greatest wish I had at the time. But the instant my foot touched the cold floor, a jolt of pain ran up my body, shaking the very essence of my being. I couldn't take the pain then and I begged to be put back on my bed. The hospital staff complied, and I was back to square 1.
I had never thought that putting my first step forward would be the most difficult thing I had ever experienced. I tried in vain to move the seemingly non-existential muscles in my leg just to be able to move a step and the effort was clearly apparent. I pushed with all my might against my mother's shoulder and my brother's arm, I finally managed to lift my leg. For a moment, I felt I was going to come out of my agony and all I prayed for was to be able to set my foot down - it was the greatest wish I had at the time. But the instant my foot touched the cold floor, a jolt of pain ran up my body, shaking the very essence of my being. I couldn't take the pain then and I begged to be put back on my bed. The hospital staff complied, and I was back to square 1.
I had never liked hospitals at all. An eerie gloom seems to hang in the air and that gets under my skin. I had seen enough of pain in and around my near and dear ones and I had no plans to fall into a similar situation. This was the primal reason for my lackadaisical (and almost negligent) attitude towards my knee troubles. Procrastination was the only way I dealt with such issues and I had made up my mind - till the time it isn't necessary, I am not going under the knife. However, God had other plans and as the new year approached, I was reduced to a limp, forcing me to finally face the one thing I did not want to undergo.
I would like to skip most of the events between the 8th to the 13th of January as it was mostly a difficult phase and I believe it is better to not speak about one's physical pain. However, visits by friends and family never failed to bring a smile to my face and I realised who really cares for my well being. I would like to mention that no joy could compare to the joy of returning home and that day was one of the brightest days of my life. The following 20-odd days were the actual test of character for me and I discovered that I had the courage, determination and grit to take me through the adversities. Maybe it really is true - the test of one's character is only found in the face of adversity.
But I think I have actually learnt a lot of things from this experience. For once, I had all the time in the world to think about myself and where my life was headed. I had no idea which career path I would chose, whether the course I had studied was really the desired course of choice and that 10 years down the line I couldn't assuredly state that I would make an impact in any field I take up. Even though I had studied Mass Media, I wasn't sure if I really was equipped with all I needed to excel. The reality dawned on me that my life was shrouded with insecurity and aimlessness and I couldn't wait to get back on my own two feet, gather myself and set things in order.
Also, in those few days in the hospital, I had the privilege to have witnessed some unbelievably courageous and strong willed people who overcame their severities with a smile on their face all throughout. The care and love I received from the people around me made me feel humbled and I started looking at life from a different perspective altogether.
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Today, as I write this blog post with my feet firmly placed on the floor. I look back and think - the first step was really the hardest. But it was only a matter of time before I triumphed and moved on towards bigger goals in life. During my recuperation, I finally realised that the one thing lacking and the one thing I need to actually support all the skills I have developed over the years is an MBA degree in hand in order to have a standing in today's world. All it took was a seminar conducted by IMS institute that acted as a catalyst for my thoughts and I realised that I needed to grab this opportunity.
Over the months, I have realised that the path I have chosen for myself is a turbulent, obstacle filled path that guarantees success provided I do the hard work. I have decided that come hell or high water, that degree shall not elude me. As a token of the beginning of an arduous road that leads to a better life, this blog will be the travelogue. In the pursuit of a better life, I find myself to be a hitchhiker who stands in the middle of the dusty road, with his eyes set on the horizon. The knowledge of reaching my goals after battling the odds is exciting and challenging, and I am up for it.
Just as every journey starts, this hitchhiker, too, starts from Milestone 1 and will not rest till the path is conquered. The path called 'Life.'
